


Dem Bones Dem, Dry Bones

by slyfoxcub



Category: Naruto
Genre: Adopted Sibling Relationship, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dysfunctional Family, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Father-Son Relationship, Female Aburame are Scary, Fuuinjutsu is Useful, Gen, Hug Therapy for everyone, Inoichi needs aspirin, Itachi is snarky, Just Friends, Kakashi finds some inner peace, Kimimaro is a manic little gremlin, Kimimaro looks like a Hatake, Lore and Mythology, No Slash, Oblivious Papa Wolf Kakashi, Off-screen Vivisection, Parental fluff, Scarring, Shisui is So Done with the Uchiha, Sibling Fluff, Tenzou is a Responsible Adult, The Hatake Clan is Not What It Seems, and also Kimimaro's shenanigans, and not in the good way, as little angst as possible, bros who show physical affection, except serious, hijinks ensue, mild body horror, traumatized kids, wacky adventures, world building
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-05-13 17:30:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19255876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slyfoxcub/pseuds/slyfoxcub
Summary: Reincarnation. Lovely. At least I have a powerful Kekkei Genkai and foreknowledge on my side. I want to live to age 30, but nooooo; it has to be a fighting anime with Doomsday plan in motion! Kakashi is a Troll, Shisui can't deal, I'm stalked by an eldritch-ish Aburame and Itachi crashes on my couch now. Say bye-bye to canon!





	1. Beginning: Escape

**Author's Note:**

> Cross-posted on Fanfiction.net.  
> https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12216770/1/Dem-Bones-Dem-Dry-Bones  
> But this one will include pictures. And ao3 has better tags.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Canon Diverges

Just so we're clear, I hate probability. I hated it in math class, I hate how it's related to karma and I hate that it reincarnated me into a shounen fighting anime. Oh, and according to canon? I end up being locked in a cell my entire childhood, being forced by my clan into mass suicide, brainwashed by Orochimaru and dying horribly of a debilitating disease mid-battle.  
Yeah, I'm Kimimaro, the last Kaguya. I am currently three and a half and locked in a dark cell. My life has officially never sucked so much, and I know it's only going to get suckier.  
At least there are positives.  
1) I have one of the strongest Kekkai Genkai currently in use. Think about it; I(canon-future me) fought a Jinchuuriki(Gaara) and a taijutsu prodigy to a standstill/exhaustion, while dying and moving under willpower alone. Basically, I am Badass.  
2) I'm going to be in a prime position to affect canon.  
3) I can potentially undermine Orochimaru.

So, what am I currently doing, you ask?  
Well, all of my relatives are such _lovely_ people they deign to _talk to me_ and _lend me things to pass the time_ and _give me nice food_. All sunshine and daisies here; please, note the sarcasm.

I'm making my own entertainment. I sing songs that I remember from my own time, sometimes in English, sometimes I try and translate them into Japanese, but the words never fit quite right. After a lot of careful experimentation, I figured out how to grow bone knives. Thankfully, the whole 'protruding through the skin' thing doesn't hurt quite as much as it sounds. I think my nerves temporarily shut down/disconnect at the the point of exit or something, so it's more of a dull ache.  
Now, because I am in a bloody cave, the decor leaves much to be desired. So I tried to grow my bones into animal shapes and make some nice statuettes. Harder than it looks, but certain species are easier. My giraffes are the best of the lot, but mainly I think because they have long limbs anyway. When I got bored of that, I started carving the wall. No, not depressing faces like canon-me, we're talking William Morris, Celtic knot, Henna, Medieval illustration style patterns, scenes, letters, animals and landscapes. I was a pretty sweet drawer in my other life; I got three A-levels in Art and Design.

Okay, in about two/three years time, I'm going to end up the last of my clan and free. So, I have a plan.  
I'm going to join up with Orochimaru.  
Don't give me those looks, just hear me out!  
When I meet Orochimaru at that lake, I'm going to lead him back here to the Kaguya clan settlement under the pretense of collecting my stuff, but in reality, I'll give him access to whatever my clan have lying around. Why? Because the reason canon-future-me died so young was because Kabuto didn't have my medical history. It could buy me some time. Also, I would actually like to take my stuff with me.  
Then, I'm going to make contact with Juugo, and ditch Orochimaru then and there. I'm taking us both to Konoha. Mainly because I want to screw over Orochimaru by not giving him what he needs to make the Curse Seal. But also, Juugo's a really sweet guy and I want us both on the 'good guys' side in this universe. Konoha has Jiraiya, who could possibly help Juugo, and they have(or will have) Tsunade, who could help me. I could trade them knowledge of Orochimaru's experiments in return, which I'm sure they would like to have.

* * *

Well, this is where everything changes. I'm in front of Juugo's cave. Oh, and I'm holding the fluffy white puppy that he scared off. I'm a sucker for animals, I know, and I'm a dog-person. I tie the puppy to the branch of a tree with some string I have in my sealing 'may-come-in-useful' scroll. I've got everything in there.

The fight with Juugo wasn't much of a fight, I just restrained him with my own spine(which still creeps me out when I do it, because the biology classes from my old life scream at me). I give the 'I will be your cell' speech. And then I change the world.  
"I've heard of someone who might be able to help you, Juugo. I'll come with you and try and help you get in contact with him."  
He looks at me with these big puppy eyes and inside I'm just going 'dawwwwww'.  
"Really? I don't have to kill anymore?"  
"I don't know about that, I can't see the future; but if we get that wild side of you under control, you don't have to worry about killing the people you want to protect."  
"Protect?"  
Ummm...think of something cool to say...steal Gaara's backstory? "Yeah. In order to really live, you need a purpose. Living for no reason, is the same as being dead. Living for yourself destroys you from the inside out and makes you weak, so you need to live for someone else and protect those precious to you."  
"But they'll all see the monster and hate me!"  
"Then protect me."  
"..."  
"I know the real you; I know you aren't a monster and I don't hate you. I'll protect you and others from yourself and you can watch my back."  
"Really?"  
I smile and nod. "Yeah. Come on now, we can get going right away. If we run, we can make it to the next town by noon."  
We walk out of the cave, and then I remember the puppy tied to the tree. Juugo is surprised to see it as I untie it and it runs towards him, yipping happily.  
"I didn't know if he was yours, so I left him out here until I came out with you," I say. Juugo's cuddling it in his arms as he blushes. So CUTE!  
"He's not mine, but he followed me around all day yesterday and he didn't want to leave."  
I shrug. "He can come with us, I don't mind and I like dogs. And I've heard that looking after an animal has a calming effect."

And that's how Juugo, the puppy newly-named Chinsei, and I joined up. We stopped at the river behind the town briefly.  
"What are you doing?" Juugo asked as he sat on the bank.

  
"White hair and red face markings like mine aren't common or natural for civilians," I say, unrolling my sealing scroll. "We need to look like travellers while we go through towns."  
I unseal some blankets, cooking utensils and twine. Rolling up the blankets, I tie them with the utensils threaded onto the twine. I cut two large branches from the surrounding trees and smoothed both ends, forming staves. Now, we had two traveller's bundles. I toss one to Juugo, before henging myself. Now I'm a head taller than Juugo, with orange hair darker and more brown than his and stubble on my chin.

  
"Our cover story is that we're nephew and uncle itinerant workers who've saved up just enough to move to Konoha for a new life. Your name is Juushiro, my name is Kimaru. Your father was killed by bandits and your mother died of sickness in the winter; both when you were quite young. You're excited because you want to learn to read and write and become a successful merchant. Only I can read, but just a little bit, and I want to just own my own house and have a steady job. I call you Juu-kun, which you complain about because you're almost grown up and you refer to me as Kim-oji. Got it?"

  
Juugo boggled at me for a moment, before nodding hesitantly and hefting his bundle up onto his shoulder. "Ah, Kimi...Kim-oji? We're going to Konoha?"  
"Yeah. Konoha's generally the most tolerant of the shinobi Villages. And by that read slightly more ethical when it comes to getting what they want and less likely to stab you in the back if they don't like you. I have a near-extinct Kekkai Genkai, which they'll want, and you're very strong, which they'll also want.  
They also have contact with the man Jiraiya of the Sannin, who's a Seal Master. He's the one I think can help you."

* * *

There are two bandits following us down the road. Shitty job of looking like they aren't interested. Thank God they don't seem to have noticed the songbirds fluttering around Juugo. Still...

"Juu-kun, what have I told about feeding the birds?" I snap. "I know you like birds, but that food is for us!"  
He looks at me, registers the quick flick of my eyes towards our followers and proceeds to play the 'chastised child' card remarkably well.  
The bandits keep their distance until Juugo and I stop for the night, kindling a fire and both (feigning) sleeping like ignorant civilians would. Despite the fact that a civilian wouldn't have heard the two men approaching, to a shinobi, especially one trained by a Sannin to be the best of the best, they were bloody pathetic.

I couldn't let any sort of word get back to Orochimaru, so I killed them. Nothing flashy, just a Shunshin behind them and slitting their throats with one of my bone daggers.

Oh yes, you're probably wondering why I haven't gone mentally unstable from killing people while having a very civilian set of life morals in my memories. Simple. It's a side affect of the Yang chakra Kaguya use to manipulate their bones; for some reason a Kaguya just can't get battle stress while using their Kekkai Genkai. All the conflicting hormones get converted into chakra, much in the same way an Akimichi's Yang nature allows them to convert fat and calories into chakra. So while I'm fighting, I don't actually feel anything. It's like I'm just floating in a swimming pool, the water blocking the majority of emotion from reaching me. However, according to Kabuto's research, to the rest of my clan who couldn't use their bones like I could, it's like being totally high. That's why they were addicted to brutal slaughter, they couldn't get enough of it.  
Me however, gets the safe benefit of never having a battle-related nervous breakdown. I an seriously in love with karma right now, forget what I said before.

* * *

Okay. This is the big one. The gates of Konoha are roughly just under half a mile down this road.

You know, Juugo didn't get much expansion on his character in canon. But travelling with the guy for the past few days has been really nice. I only had to calm him down twice, but both episodes passed really quickly. His ability to 'talk' to animals keeps giving me Disney vibes, but it's beginning to cement one of my theories about his little condition. We started to open up to each other, the both us reminiscing about our childhood confinement. Of course, I would have loved to roam the countryside like Juugo did, while he would have been quite pleased with being so securely restrained.

  
Back to the present though. From Pain's invasion, I know that there's a barrier around the Village which detects intruders. So I have to presume that once Juugo and I cross it - where it starts though, I don't know - we're going to be watched. And we do not want to make a bad impression. I remove the henge, reseal all our stuff into my scroll and tell Juugo that we're going to walk in with our hands visible and open.

  
I have to say this though, those main gates are pretty impressive. I wonder how many shinobi it took to get them into place? Or was it just two Akimichi at full size? Still, it's the two Chunin in the Gatehouse we have to worry about. Not that we couldn't take them if it came down to it, but we need need to present our case in a way that won't make every active ninja want to stab us full of sharp and pointy things. Well, I stab myself full of pointy things every time I use Shikotsumyaku but that's beside the point. Hah hah, puns. Oh Kami, this it; I'm going to change the timeline. Hahahahaha...What the HELL AM I DOING? I CAN'T DO THIS I'LL MESS THIS UP BEYOND COMPREHENSION AND ALL OF US ARE GOING TO DIE! WE-E'RE ALL DOOMED! DOOMED I TELL YOU! DOOMED!  
...  
Thank all of the Kami I didn't say that last bit out loud.

The two Chunin, Izumo and Kotetsu I think it is, stand outside their Gatehouse, ready for us. Kotetsu(?) lets his hand fall to his kunai pouch. Juugo and I continue our approach, but then I hear the laboured gasps from Juugo that signal that he's about to have one of his episodes. In front of Konoha. Shit.  
I stop abruptly and execute a sharp turn, slamming my hands into Juugo's chest. The markings are curling across his face, but they promptly retreat when I brush chakra from my hands against his network. He looks at me sheepishly and I sigh.

"It's okay," I whisper. "I'll tell them that you need me to keep calm, but it's extremely likely they'll separate us for a while at first. I want you to stay calm as much as you can. Take Chinsei with you," I say, scooping up the wriggling puppy and depositing the little guy into his hands.

"Can we...help...you guys with something?" Yeah, Izumo and Kotetsu are just behind us. They both have kunai in their hands. Juugo instinctively hugs Chinsei closer, while I spread out my empty hands to show that I'm not a threat.

"Chunin-san," I start. "I am Kimimaro of the Kaguya Clan. Behind me is Juugo of the Scales. I cannot say much more; listening ears are everywhere. We wish for an audience with Sandaime Hokage-sama. We are running from enemies of Konoha and seek help from this Village." Then, because I can't resist it, "Please take care of us."

* * *

I always thought that the Hokage's office looked kind of empty in the show and to someone like me, who's spent most of their (current)life underground, all those floor-to-ceiling windows send alarms running through my head.

Anyways, the show never quite captured the sheer _presence_ the Sandaime had. Well, how could it? It's just frames. Only in person can you really register the...the...aura, yes let's go with that word, the man has. It just fills up the room and right now, all of it's focused on little ol' us.  
It's like a chimpanzee. Yes, they're like cuddly, wizened children when you look at them. But a full-grown chimp, despite it's small size, can bend solid steel bars, rip out your throat with ease and troops in the wild will systematically hunt down and tear apart small monkeys for food.

Similarly, the Sandaime resembles a harmless old grandpa smoking his pipe. But it would be no bet at all that he could tear us apart in less than two seconds if the whim took him.  
I fall into the deepest formal bow I can pull off without it looking awkward. "My deepest thanks, Honourable Sandaime-sama, for permitting us to speak with you." Yes, I am going to play the respectful card; I do not want to be on his bad side, thank-you-very-much.

"You said you were fleeing from enemies of this Village, did you not?" He says above my head. Oh Kami, he hasn't said I can straighten up yet. With my neck exposed like this, both sides of my memories, but mostly the shinobi one, are screaming at me to stop baring one of my vital points to a man I barely know. Yet, if I stand up from my bow, it could be considered an insult.  
"What reason can you offer for me to take in two shinobi from another Village, especially a reason so delicate that you seek to tell it to my ears alone? Rise, and speak."  
I straighten up. I can sense Juugo huddling closer to me. I take a deep breath.

"Sandaime-sama, while Juugo here is an unaffiliated shinobi, I have renounced the tutelage of...Orochimaru."  
The violent spike in the Sandaime's chakra sends the two of us diving to the floor on instinct. Chinsei yelps and tries to burrow further under Juugo, while us two are left breathless and choking. Suddenly, the chakra pressure stops and the old man is standing over us.

"Why do you run from him?"

"Soul-transferring ninjutsu, his immortality," I gasp out. "Needs a strong host. I was chosen. Wanted Juugo for experiments. Sent me to collect, but we ran. Can offer info on current experiments, base locations, personnel. Leave Juugo alone, he has no part in this; he's just sick. He needs my presence to stop his regression."

Next thing I know, my wrists are grabbed and chakra-suppression sealing tags slapped on. A sharp pinch on the pressure point in my neck and I'm go...'


	2. Beginning: Annoyance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kimimaro annoys the hell out of T&I.

Sarutobi Hiruzen, Sandaime Hokage of Konohagakure no Sato, was feeling slightly confused. Two shinobi had turned up at the gates, asking rather politely for asylum and an audience with him. He wasn't all that prepared for the young ages of the two. The first was only about eight, skin showing the paleness of a life underground, bone-white hair and what appeared to be red clan markings on the brow and eyelids. The second was a stringy, broad-shouldered boy that, judging from the lines of the face, would be somewhere around thirteen years old. That one held a white puppy in his arms like it was a lifeline.

 

 

  
He would admit that he let his temper slip slightly when Kimimaro said that he had been Orochimaru's student. When he said that he had fled being used for one of Orochimaru's depraved jutsus, while saving an innocent, he reined in his anger.

  
After knocking the two out, he called for Ibiki. This matter would have to be handled delicately.

* * *

I could really go for pasta right now. Why did it have to be a Feudal Japan-based universe? WHY?!

  
I suppose I could give making it a go; the shells are just water, flour and eggs, right? Onions and meat will be available and tomatoes shouldn't be a...tomatoes weren't native to Japan, were they? I'm pretty sure they came from America. Yet Sasuke's favourite food is tomatoes. Huh. Oh well; never look a gift horse in the mouth.

  
I think the soup they gave me was tomato and vegetable based as well. Oh yeah, I'm being hosted by T&I. No, they're under orders not use physical implements. I'm in the 'nice' cells as well; the ones when they're bribing their guests or they're restraining high profile political prisoners. Since Juugo and I qualify as refugees, that's where we are. I wonder how they would react if I offered to make them pasta? They'd think it was poisoned, obviously, but their expressions would be a sight to see.

  
Seriously, I miss sooo many things. Pasta, toffee apples, computers, computer games, a load of books, a load of movies, cars, mum and dad, my family, garlic bread, roast dinners, breakfast pastries, yoghurt-coated cranberries...okay, now I'm hungry and that soup feels like ages ago. Like, yeeeears.

  
And I'm booorrrrred. With these chakra seals on, I can't grow my bones. Well, actually, that's not strictly true. Yes, both the Akimichi and the Kaguya use Yang chakra. However, the Akimichi only have an affinity for Yang chakra; therefore they have to use handseals for their Expansion techniques and the only refinement is expanding individual body parts at a time.  
Myself, on the other hand, have a Kekkai Genkai for Yang chakra. I do not need handseals; I only need to direct my chakra. The downside is that I can manipulate only my bones. And these seals on my wrists only keep my chakra from reaching my skin and the outside. The bones inside my body, although, are fair game.

  
But, I only like my bones where I can see them. Yes, that sounds incredibly stupid, but I refuse to mess with any organ-connected bones except in an emergency. Ribs and spine are a big no-no. What if I punctured one of my internal organs, because I can't see where the bone inside of me is growing?! Also, Yang chakra is a big part of medical chakra. Without Yang chakra in my skin to numb the area and mend the exit, bones coming out through my skin would hurt like all hell and leave a gaping bloody hole.  
Well, nothing else to do but annoy the living daylights out the guards who are watching my every move. In my past life, I couldn't carry a tune in a bucket. This body, however, has quite a nice voice.

 

"Hello mother, hello father.  
Here I am at, Camp Grenada...'"

  
"'...They're coming to take me away, haha,  
They're coming to take me away, hoho,  
Hehe, haha...'"

 

_'I regret nothing...'_

 

* * *

"...And it's so easy when you're eeevil,  
this is the life you see,  
the Devil tips his hat to me.  
I do it all because I'm eeevil,  
And I do it all for free:  
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need!..."

 

 

 

 

Tobitake Tonbo had to consciously stop himself from tapping his foot along. He stared at the other prisoner, name of Juugo.  
"Is this...normal for him?"

  
Juugo looked up at him. "He sings when he's bored, but can't draw. He drew quite the crowd when we passed through some towns and it got us enough money to buy fresh food. He sang while we traveled as normal civilians. Once he gets bored of singing, I don't know what will happen."

  
"Would he listen if we asked him to tone it down?"

  
"Just give him a piece of paper and a pencil. If you ask nicely, he does requests."

* * *

"...Like a tunnel that you follow to a tunnel of its own...'" Ibiki sighed as a Yamanaka walked past, humming. Great, now his people had picked up those songs.

"Give him some paper and some pencils," he groaned. "Just make sure you keep an eye on what he's drawing!"

* * *

What am I drawing, you ask? Well, I'm not _drawing_ , per-say, but I am practicing my Fuuinjutsu matrices.

  
It kind of started when, because of the extra medical data obtained thanks to yours truly, Kabuto and the other scientist minions under Orochimaru's command found out about my illness way before canon. Good news, I get medication which actually helps. Bad news, I'm no longer a suitable vessel for His Snakiness. Which means that I get relegated to the breeding labs; they muck about with my blood and tissue samples until I'm sexually active then *ahem* put me out to stud.

  
Not only is that _all kinds_ of NOPE, I needed to be in Orochimaru's right hand posse if I'm going to get sent after Juugo. Answer: become a Fuuinjutsu specialist. Karin is too young to have discovered any seals-related talent she might have yet and all the Balaclava mooks are...well, mooks.

  
I throw myself into sealing, which Orochimaru has quite a few texts and notebooks on actually. I think he messed around with body-altering seals in canon, which would explain it. Also, it's a massive 'flip the birdy' to all those fanfiction OCs, that just so happen to have inherited sealing talent by being born into the Uzumaki clan. Fuuinjutsu isn't Uzumaki-only, you know?! Other people are talented at it as well; cases in point, Minato Namikaze and Jiraiya. The only reason it isn't as prevalent in the shinobi business as you might think is that math isn't really highlighted in the academies. Basic add, subtract, multiplication and division get taught because money management, but anything beyond that is pretty much ignored. Uzumaki with specialisation in Fuuinjutsu don't even have to get math, they just process it all subconsciously and draw a perfect seal matrix 'because it just looks right.' Non-Uzumaki have to slave over learning all those intricate little squiggles.

  
Myself, on the other hand, has a whole lifetime of GCSE geometry, trigonometry, algebra, equations and rearranging formulas to help me out. Yes, I can do math. Yes, it really, really helped. Actually, I wasn't too good at math before. I could do it and didn't have a problem with it, I was just one of those people who have to sit down with a pencil and scribble through the whole method to get an answer.  
But because of me using that past-life math, Orochimaru thought I was a Fuuinjutsu prodigy of the level of Minato; the guy who beat him to becoming Hokage. So I got back into his personal posse by dint of being his own Minato rip-off. And I did get sent after Juugo, so yay!

* * *

"Please give a basic rundown of your abilities," said the guy with a clipboard. My interview; yay. I'm handcuffed to a chair, but it could be worse. Pointy things or snakes sort of worse.

  
"Foremost, the Shikotsumyaku Kekkai Genkai of the near-extinct Kaguya clan. I have a prototype range of taijutsu designed around my Kekkai Genkai.  
Reasonable in kenjutsu, somewhat resistant to genjutsu, basic range of D and C ranked ninjutsu in Doton and Suiton. Increased healing rate and physical stamina as a result of my Kekkai Genkai. Basic medical jutsu. Some skill in Fuuinjutsu, as you can see." I nod to the sheets of paper one of the guards is holding.

 

"Explain your relationship with the missing-nin Orochimaru." I grimace.

  
"Do you have to phrase it like that? After my clan committed what amounts to mass suicide, I became quite collectable, you understand? Because of my Kekkai Genkai, my body structure is superior to most ninja, therefore I was of high value as Orochimaru's next body. Once it was discovered, however, that I had a genetic illness, I became depreciated and was scheduled to be sent to one of the breeding labs. But because of my talent for Fuuinjutsu being discovered, I was kept at his side."

  
"Your relationship with Orochimaru," the guy re-iterates.

  
"I was one of his _collectables_ who still retained some worth in an unconventional area even after a _flaw_ in my genetics was found. I was his pet Fuuinjutsu specialist; his rip-off Minato Namikaze. I'm the three-legged guard dog whose teeth were still sharp enough for him to keep me around.  
I respect Orochimaru only for his skill, intelligence and Kami-damned stubbornness not to die. Other than that, he just creeps me out."

  
"You mentioned breeding labs. Surely it would be beneficial for you if you could restore your clan? Why refuse?" I stare at him.

  
"One, you are being obtuse, because it's pretty obvious that I'm not sexually mature yet. Two, I wasn't going to give the Snake-bastard an innocent infant to mess around with. Three, the guy's a bloody pimp; he likes to try and pair off different Kekkai Genkai users to see what the end result is. Four, a lot of the other subjects over there don't do it by choice. Five, if if one of the subjects tries to refuse engaging in intimacy, they're put under genjutsu that makes them do it.  
I couldn't change it, but I could make sure I didn't participate in it; save them a small amount of suffering."

* * *

Sarutobi Hiruzen quickly flicked through the sheaves of paper that Ibiki had set in front of him, doing his best to hide his surprise.

"He did these himself, you said? These are most impressive. On a par with Jiraiya and maybe Minato, I can say that much. I'm not surprised my former student kept the boy around."  
The old man leaned back in his chair and lit his pipe with a snap of his fingers. "Ibiki, what can you tell me about this Kimimaro's personality?"

"Sir. He appears to have a large amount of spite towards those who judge people on genetics alone and seems to mildly resent being treated as a replacement for others and not his own person. Intelligent enough to know when to shut up, but seems to take delight in passive-aggressive tactics."

"Such as?"

"Well sir; he, er, started singing. And now half the people who've come into contact with him have got songs stuck in their heads. Not genjutsu; they're just really catchy." Ibiki decided to move on swiftly when the laugh-lines around his Hokage's eyes deepened.

"Apart from that, he seems rather mature for his age. That could be put up to being exposed to Orochimaru for a number of years and the mistreatment from his clan and subsequent orphaning, but some of the Yamanaka aren't so sure. He reacts to the boy he brought with him, Juugo, like some sort of psuedo-father-figure; completely in control like he's the adult of the two."

The Hokage folded his hands as he leaned forward on the desk.  
"What are his intentions in this Village?"

"Sir, to quote; 'Join this Village's shinobi force, get a house, get Juugo's problem either cured or manageable, get Juugo a job, make some progress on my own illness, learn more about seals, make some friends, get both Juugo and I to age thirty and stay the hell away from Orochimaru unless it's to piss on his grave. Not necessarily in that order.' Unquote."

Sarutobi exhaled a small puff of smoke. "That's...strangely realistic and proactive. If I recall, there are several apartments available in the block downtown. Set them both up there and I'll set two ANBU to watch them."  
Ibiki nodded in acquiescence, deposited the two files on the desk and left.

The Hokage sat silent for a moment, then spoke aloud to his - seemingly - empty office; "Get Hound and Bear. They have a mission."

* * *

  



	3. Beginning: Verdict

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Council comes to a decision.

I. AM. OFFICIALLY. PANICKING.  
Juugo and I are being released; paperwork and everything! They haven't even had a Yamanaka mind-walk me!  
Either Konoha is really soft, or there's a massive catch. Can't be the former because, you know, _shinobi?!_ So it must be the other one and I am dreading what that catch is going to be.

  
As the guards walk us to the Hokage's office, I whisper to Juugo. "You okay? Did you stay calm?" He nods an affirmative, so I continue. "What d'you think the catch is for letting us go so soon?"  
"You'll find out soon enough," says one of the guards, ominous tone and all. Oh great. I turn to the guard next to me. "I bet you ten ryo all the important shinobi in this Village will be there because they want me to demonstrate my Kekkai Genkai and inform us about where they're going to put us for the near future."  
The guy flinches ever so slightly. Knew it. Bollocks. Karma, don't let me down now...

 

Let's see...Hokage? Check. Tsume Inuzuka plus Kuromaru? Check, check. Shibi Aburame? Check. The Ino-Shika-Cho trio senior? Check, check and check. Hiashi Huuga? Check. Uchiha Fugaku? Check. The two advisors? Checkity check. And last but certainly the least missed; Danzo? One check I didn't want to do. Because, you know, he'll probably push for some sort of Clan Restoration Act so he can have a Kaguya in ROOT...oh...oh HELL NO!

 

Plan 1: Depreciate while stressing importance is a go.

  
I look around the room, before leaning over to the guard; "You don't happen to have any water on you I could have, do you?" He looks at me like I offered to bitch-slap a Bijuu. "No."

  
I sigh; water would have been nice, before I put my finger behind my ear and pulse chakra through the storage seal hidden in my hair. I bring out my medicine pill, pop it in my mouth and swallow it. Actually, I still had chakra seals on, but I found a way to get around that. Did you know that you can channel chakra through your hair despite it being dead? I remembered that from the Sasuke Retrieval Arc when Shizune healed Neji by using his hair as a conductor. Since the seals only stop chakra getting to my skin and beyond they don't take into account that the roots of your hair start under your skin. So I use my finger to press some strands of hair to the seal, funnel some chakra and _bam!_

 

The guards shifted closer and into ready stances and all the gathered VIPs are looking at me funny.

  
"Apologies," I say blithely. "Genetic disease, need to take one pill every two days. Do carry on."

  
A guard snatches my wrist and inspects the seals on my wrist to find them still functioning perfectly.

  
"How did you bypass those seals?" Inoichi barks, Shikaku Nara next to him looking a lot more interested than he did a second ago. I shrug. "I figured out their loophole while still in my cell and applied a bit of bastardised iryoninjutsu. Still can't use any other sort of jutsu though."

  
"We should remove those seals now anyway," Shibi interjects. "Why? For you to demonstrate your Kekkai Genkai is the purpose of this assembly."

  
"You owe me ten ryo," I mutter to the guard as he wipes away the seals(they were some sort of alcohol-solvent ink, painted on after I was knocked out by the Sandaime, instead of the temporary paper tag ones he used on me initially). My chakra returns to my skin in a rush, like I just walked from boiling sunny day into a cool, air-conditioned shop. Refreshing, but because I've had them on so long my senses go a bit fuzzy for a second.

  
"...study?" Huh? Oh. Shikaku.

  
"Apologies, Nara-sama, just getting my bearings. Would you mind repeating your question?"

  
"If it wouldn't be too inconvenient, could you submit some of your medicine for study?" Why would the Nara...oh yeah; deer antlers, herbs and medicine suppliers.

  
"Of course, Nara-sama. If the recipe could be determined, I would be most grateful for the opportunity to stock up. I only absconded with a set amount. The majority of my supply should be in the scroll I had with me when I entered the Village two days ago."

  
"There are many shinobi who have had long records of active service despite illness," Old Lady Advisor pipes up. "What makes you so different that the traitor would choose to dispose of a valuable asset?" Oh yeah, she must be referring to that coughing guy with the sword; whatever his name is.

  
"Orochimaru wants the perfect body. I have a flaw, but was worth keeping around. I am no longer an accept able vessel for his soul. I think he planned to try and breed the sickness out of me though; he has labs for that." Cue the flinch from the Uchiha and Hyuuga Clan Heads.

  
Danzo is expressionless, but hopefully he got the message that neither I nor any kids I might have in the future would be ideal ROOT material.

  
"A vessel for Orochimaru's soul?" That's Chouza Akimichi now, but the Hokage beats me to the answer.  
"Yes, there is a kinjutsu that transfers the soul of the caster to the body of another, but it was never completed. It seems Orochimaru has made progress on that though."

  
"For crying out loud!" Tsume Inuzuka sighs suddenly. "Just demonstrate your powers already! We haven't got all day!" All eyes on me now.

  
So, I shrug off the shoulders of my prison yukata and focus my chakra. There's that really unsettling stretchy-wet-flesh sound and my right shoulder joint starts to appear and breaks through my skin. I reach my hand over and grab the makeshift hilt, before pulling out the sprouting blade. My shoulder heals over immediately. Spikes appear along my forearms, before retracting. I flip the bone blade hilt first to the guard, who takes it.  
"Careful, it's sharp. Roughly as strong as steel but I think I can get stronger and denser with time and practice. I have two other techniques, but the chakra cost is too high at the moment. And one I hate using." _Actually, I could use Digital Shrapnel and Clematis Vine easy, but they don't know that and they won't for quite a while if I get my way._

 

"Who's the other boy?"

  
At Fugaku's question, everyone's eyes slide over to Juugo, who shuffles closer to me.  
"Juugo's with me," I say out loud. "He's Yang nature like me, and he needs me to balance his chakra. But he's not a shinobi and he just wants to be normal and not hurt anybody without meaning to. He stays with me."

  
"I agree." Well, that came out of left field. I turn to face Hiashi Hyuuga, who has his Byakugan activated. "Kaguya's presence is having a stabilising effect on the boy's fluctuating chakra network. I recommend they should not be separated."

  
"Is that a yes, Hyuuga-san?" Asks Chouza. Yes? To what? They're deciding my fate, aren't they? Bollocks.

  
Well, the glance-conversations and some handsigning circuit round the room. After a few minutes, it seems they've all decided on something.  
"Kimimaro Kaguya," the Sandaime starts off.

Oh karma, who art in the universe, lucky be thy name...'

  
"Along with your companion Juugo, you are to be considered on probation for a year, or until we decide we can trust you. You will be under ANBU guard at all times for that year, reporting weekly to my office. You cannot take employment without the express permission of myself or a Clan Head. Housing will be provided, as well as a monthly stipend. Do you have any questions?"

 

_Thank you karma, thank you rare Kekkai Genkai, thank you kind-hearted-for-a-shinobi Sandaime Hokage, thank you past-life foreknowledge...'_

* * *

 

"BUDDHA'S SAGGY LEFT NUTSACK! Give a guy some warning when you do the ghosting act, will you?!"

  
And that was my reaction to mine and Juugo's two ANBU watchers popping up in our apartment building. Seriously, they're like the Hounds of Tindalos; they are always behind you and come out of the dark corners. Oh, and here's the thing, they are none other than Kakashi and Tenzo. Yeah.

  
Mind.

  
Blown.

  
The spiky silver hair, the green and red stripy cat-bear-face and the fact that they're _so short_ gave it away. Of course, it makes sense once you think about it. Tenzo is one of Orochimaru's former experiments, so...I dunno...empathy, perhaps? Possibly the fact he could restrain us with the least damage with his Mokuton? Kakashi's strong; one reason. And I suspect putting him on what is basically a part-time babysitting mission for a year is the Sandaime's way of making him relax. Kakashi was a pretty driven(understatement), take-all-the-kamikaze-missions-yet-bring-everyone-back-alive-because-abandonment-and-guilt-issues ANBU at this stage of his life if I remember correctly.

  
I think he's getting some sort of perverse enjoyment out of making me jump. My fellow-snarky-bastard-senses tingle when he looks at me after I yell at him. Juugo can sense him a split second before he even appears; baffles the ever-loving hell out of them both I expect. But that puts another tick into my theory.

 

The apartment is...small. Well, it was on the small side of average to begin with but with Juugo as a flatmate in what is supposed to be an apartment for one person, it's taking some careful co-ordination not to bother each other in the morning. I am not a morning person. I'm not the stereotypical 'will murder for coffee' person, but I refuse to talk to anyone before I've had a big cup of tea and something to eat. If you're lucky, I may grunt non-descriptively.

  
Juugo respects personal space like the lovely guy he is. Kakashi decides to emulate a robot, I think. For an ANBU, Tenzo is disgustingly chipper. I think Kakashi or his ANBU squad beat it out of him before he appears in canon. In the meantime, _I am a calm man_.

  
It's not all perfect though; oh the things that have happened since we moved in. A whole year of DIY mishaps, odd meetings and general mucking about. Here are some of the highlights...'


	4. Probation No.1: Moving In and Affinity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kimimaro and Juugo air some grievances. Chakra Theory is helpful.

### Moving in

"Home, sweet home," I announce dryly to no-one in particular as I fling open the apartment door. I stare blankly around in response to the small puff of dust my footfall kicked up when I stepped on the welcome mat; "well, somebody hasn't cleaned this place in ages. I wonder how much dust I'm inhaling right now? To hell with it; come on in Juugo! We need to sort out dinner and a place to sleep."

  
I roll out my storage scroll on the floor and pump chakra into it to make it unseal everything. I fish through the resulting pile and pick out two blankets, my one pillow, three changes of clothes and some ration bars. Pressing my hand under my shirt to a seal drawn in the depression of my collarbone, I unseal a small purse. It's got expansion seals on the inside and I've spent very little, so it should hold about 5280 ryo. Enough to buy food but we can wait until that monthly stipend to get new clothes. Chinsei rushes into the room, sniffing at everything. He's probably glad to be out of the pet carrier he was in all that time, but still...

  
"Juugo, you will be responsible for house-training Chinsei. I'm going out to get some food, I'll be back soon. Check if all the taps work and turn the heating on while I'm out would you?"

  
"Uh, you won't go far, will you?" That made me stop and turn around; Juugo sounded nervous. I step up and put my hand on his shoulder.

  
"I'll be quick, but I don't know how far I'll have to go to find a shop. Does it ache again?" Yeah, if Juugo consciously suppresses his problem for too long, it actually starts hurting him, before he loses it. He told me that while we were on the road; you didn't think he didn't try to control himself all those years alone, did you? He nods. If he can last through the night, I'll find a training ground so he can go nuts. Meanwhile...  
"Here, have a bit of my chakra; it should keep you until I get back." I send Yang chakra into his coils and he sags minutely in relief. "There'll be an ANBU watching you at all times I expect, so if you lose control while I'm not here, well...um, ANBU? You there?" I say out loud. "If Juugo loses control, that's when his eyes go black and yellow and he gets weird swirly markings on his face, can you get him away really fast to somewhere empty like a training ground, then come and get me?"

  
Silence.

  
"I'm just gonna assume you got all that? Moving swiftly onward; I'll be back in a bit."

  
It's pretty late out by the way; twilight sort-of. Thankfully, this being a shinobi Village with people coming and going around the clock, 24-hour shops exist. I mean, in canon you see Naruto go into one to by an ice lolly after Jiraiya died. There's a 24-hour right around the corner, so I go in and start browsing. I avoid buying fresh stuff like milk because I have no idea what state the fridge is in, but packaged stuff like instant ramen, tinned soup and veg, fresh fruit and veg and a few pre-packed bentos get bought as well as tea. I bought a notebook and some writing pens as well; as pretty as those ink calligraphy brushes are, I cannot write with them. Seals, no problem: but actual kanji are beyond me. Normal pens it is.

  
When I get back, I find Juugo fiddling with the radiator dial and I can hear the kettle in the kitchenette boiling away. Dumping the bags on the table, I take the tea and set it on the counter. The cupboard under the sink has three mugs(one with no handle) and a few plastic bowls of various sizes. By the time I've rinsed and dried the mugs, Juugo comes into the kitchen and the place feels a lot warmer with the heating starting to kick in.

The kettle boils and I pour tea. We drink it at the table in the dining area.

  
"Kimimaro? What're we going to do tomorrow?" Well, that... I shake away the feeling of deja vu and I put my now-empty cup back down on the table.

  
"Have breakfast sounds good, maybe wake up a bit earlier. I was gonna ask the ANBU if they know any empty areas where you can work off some steam. I was planning to spar with you while you're in that state, actually; it would be a challenge and so far I don't know anybody here well enough to ask. So, once that's done, I figured we could walk around the Village to get our bearings; we don't want to get lost every time we go out."

  
"Are you sure? I mean, about fighting me while I'm...like that?"

  
"Sure! I can learn to combat different styles of taijutsu eventually, but since you don't have a style and you're so unpredictable it would be quite the learning experience dodging you. I also want to test something; I need to see how long you can fight in that state and what you feel like afterwards." He looks at me askance.

  
"Um, speaking of which," he starts off slowly. "Not that I'm ungrateful or anything, but you said there was someone here who could fix me. I was wondering when...I mean...uh...'"

_'Fix me.'_ Ugh, I know he didn't mean it like that, but that particular word just makes it sound like he wants to be neutered. Besides; "I didn't say you could be _fixed_ , I said you could be helped. I mean, it's possible that your condition is actually natural, so getting rid of it might just hurt you even more." The expression on his face goes from apprehensive to something taut and gnarled and disappointed. Something curls in my gut at the sight.  
"Whoa, whoa! Come on; I got you here, right? All we need to do is find Jiraiya, figure out exactly _how_ your power works and then sort out how to make it work the way you want it to. Simple!"

"It's NOT!" He roars suddenly, bringing his (non-transformed)fist down onto the edge of the table. Shinobi reflexes ingrained into my body since I-can't-remember-when mean I'm on the other side of the room in a ready position before I can even think about what-just-happened. There's that feeling in my gut again and I know it means I've upset him but I can't figure out how I did it.

  
"I don't WANT to make it work!" Juugo continues, his posture going from angry and bitter to little-boy-lost, slumping in his seat. "I want it gone...I just...never wanted it in the first place; I don't want to be a shinobi at all but you said 'Konoha will want you because you're strong' which means I have to be a shinobi if I'm going to get help but I don't wanna be a shinobi but I do want to stop losing control but I don't want to control it I just want it GONE and now you tell me I can't get RID OF IT because it's PART OF ME!"

  
The last few words or so are a garbled mess, but the meaning is pretty clear overall. Damn it all, why did Juugo have to be a supporting character in canon; his emotions weren't covered beyond 'I want to not kill people' but other than that he was pretty much a bookend when it came to personality! I don't know how to deal with this! "Bloody Hell, you don't think I don't feel the same about my Kekkei Genkai at times too?"

  
His head snaps up, eyes wide with surprise despite being reddened from tears of frustration. "What?"

I said that last bit out loud, didn't I? Thank you - _not_ \- brain to mouth filter. But seriously; does he think he's the _only_ person in the _history_ of this screwed-sideways-six-ways-to-Sunday _Universe_ to be born with a power _they don't want?!_

"Why do you think I RAN THE FUCK AWAY from Orochimaru? It wasn't exactly NICE there! Do you know how many times I was EXPERIMENTED ON for THE SOLE REASON he WANTED MY KEKKEI GENKAI? How many times I wished I WASN'T ME? But _you know something?_ " I hiss at him as I lean over the table, the build-up of chakra in my skin from my anger steaming into the air.

"If it wasn't for _my Kekkei Genkai_ I spent all those years _not wanting_ , I'd be a _gibbering wreck_ from psychological trauma! It's the reason I'm still sane and the reason I lived _through fighting my sorry hide out of the middle of Kirigakure!_  
So _EXCU~SE ME_ for not being able to FIX you; I'm doing what I can to _HELP ALREADY!_ "

After that little outburst, Juugo looks like I just clocked him round the head with sandbag and I have no idea what the ANBU are thinking. I just...I need space.

 

 

 

  
I jump out the open window and get onto the roof. The cold night air hits me and evaporates the last of the anger, clearing my head.

In canon, Juugo did want to just control his wild side, not get rid of it, and I treated him based on that. I didn't think that when he was younger he might have thought differently. Fuck, I need to stop thinking about him as a work of fiction that yeah, you cared about, but didn't really impact on your life. Not helped by the fact that I'm mentally older than him. I'm a psychologically protected young adult in a body untouched by hormones who knows the future while _he's_ a mentally and physically unstable teen in the midst of the nine levels of hell that is puberty. Oh Kami...

 

 

 

A shuffling sound a little in front of me in the shadows disturbs my thoughts. Not accidental, like somebody's trying to get my attention in a nondescript way. I feel invisible eyes lock onto mine and the indistinct shadowy lump straightens into a more upright position. In the faint light from the streetlight across the road, I catch a glimpse of a grey breastplate and the handle of a tanto sticking up from the shoulder.

  
"Hi..." I say lamely, not really in the mood for talking but grateful for the opportunity to take my mind off what just happened. "You're one of our ANBU, right? Why break cover now?"

  
Silence. Then; "Kiri?"

 

I snort. "Yeah. My clan decided the best way to make a name for themselves was to charge into the middle of Kirigakure armed with only knives and start hacking away at every living thing in sight. The shinobi in Kiri had other ideas. Now I'm the last Kaguya; known Kaguya, anyway."

  
I make to sit down, but then I realise that in my anger, massive spikes of bone had sprouted through the skin on my back without me noticing. That instinctive action was what saved my life against the Seven-Swordsmen trainees back in Kiri, but I'm going to need to start getting it under control at some point. I retract the spikes and sit. The ANBU is still there. I ignore him.

Nothing happens for about, hmm, five minutes? Then the cold gets to me and I decide to go back inside, so I stand up. You know, from this angle, the ANBU looks rather short. Okay, he's taller than me but definitely still a teenager. At first I thought it might be Kakashi, but the glimpse of his hair that I can see above the shaft of darkness that conceals his masked face is an average mid-brown. Well, might as well get his name...'

  
"Look," I say. "I know I'm probably never going to find out your real name and I'm not asking you to take the mask off, but do you have a codename I can call you? It would make things easier if we could distinguish you and you comrade from each other."

  
After a moments hesitation, he leans forward and in that second I don't know whether the Universe just shit all over me or dumped rosewater and champagne over my head. Because the mask has two stubby ears, eye-holes ringed with a thin circle and framed by red crescents, with small green stripes on the forehead and cheeks. A very familiar mask.  
Tenzo, better known as Captain Yamato, temporary leader of Naruto's squad in Shippuden, Orochimaru's former experiment, former ROOT member, laboratory-bastard descendant of the Shodai Hokage, only current wielder of the Mokuton and one of the coolest guys in the series. That all went through my head in a second, the second before he says "I am Bear", then vanishes.

I take that as my cue to go inside.

  
Aaaannd the moment I have both feet on the floor, Juugo grabs me in a crushing bear hug, mumbling into my shoulder about how sorry he is and how he wasn't thinking. But my eyes are caught by the two ANBU in the corner of the room, seemingly holding a conversation in just handsigns. Not just that, but Tenzo's...I mean Bear's(got to get used to calling him that, don't want to slip up) partner has some very iconic spiky silver hair. That comment about the Universe I said before? It's that again.

  
Juugo, noticing my relocated attention, relinquishes his grip and turns to see what I'm looking at. He catches sight of the ANBU and freezes. The ANBU finish their little chat and turn to us, before Bear speaks up. "I am Bear, he is Hound." They vanish abruptly in a shunshin of leaves.

...

  
FML

 

### The Importance of Affinity

"Any questions?"

  
That was the end of my first report session with the Hokage and Inoichi. The day after moving in to the apartment, but they have to get information on Orochimaru from me before it goes out of date. This one was the whole works; personnel, current experiments and base locations. At that last question though, I get the chance to ask something that's been in the back of my head for a while.  
"Umm, why don't you just pull all of the information you need out of my head? You have the Yamanaka clan. Not that I don't appreciate my privacy not being invaded, but it would be faster and more efficient."

  
"Your Kekkei Genkai," Inoichi speaks up. "Your Yang chakra cancels out the Yin chakra that composes a Yamanaka mind-probe. It's...kind of embarrassing."

  
Gaaaahhh, I rub my eyes with my hands, groaning in despair. "Of course it does, I should've guessed. Of course Yamanaka mind techniques isn't one of the Cyclical Elemental chakra affinities but one of the two Balanced Divine affinities which nullify each other, it's so obvious. But I've heard theories about Yamanaka communicating to their comrades, including Akimichi, with their jutsu but Akimichi are Yang-natured so how does that work?"

Inoichi gives off the vague sense of being shell-shocked but the Hokage takes a long pull on his pipe and smiles.  
"Akimichi are Yang-natured, yes, but it does not saturate their bodies without handseals or in response to emotion as your chakra does. Inoichi's jutsu, Yin chakra that it is, is unable to pass through your skin and skull to reach your brain. And may I say you are the first shinobi I've met in a long time to know chakra theory in such depth. Cyclical Elemental Affinities and the Balanced Divine; it's been so long since I've heard those terms spoken with any understanding. What drove you to go into it?"

  
I shrug. "I'm never going to be a sensor or a genjutsu specialist and my ninjutsu has a baseline of average. But if I knew the ins and outs of chakra, the very foundation of shinobi life, then I'd have some sort of advantage against those other three types. It also helps with sealing. That, and there wasn't much else to do down in the labs aside from read. Orochimaru's got some very good book and scroll repositories tucked away in some of those bases I told you about."

  
"He always did love his books," the Hokage murmured to himself, tipping his hat over his eyes. Inoichi coughed politely.  
"Forgive an old man for reminiscing," the Sandaime said, climbing to his feet. "I have a little time before I need to be at my desk; won't you walk with this old man for a while, Kimimaro-kun?" Not phrased like an order, but as a _firm suggestion._

"Well, I would, but I agreed to meet Juugo at training ground 2 for a spar..."

  
"Then I shall accompany you there," he interjects. "It has been a while since I've walked that way and I do really want to get out of my office."

  
And that was how I found myself walking down a side street side-by-side with the Sandaime Hokage. In the middle of the day. With people around. And as I was accompanying the _Hokage_ , naturally I came under scrutiny too. The eyes were everywhere and it was really uncomfortable since I was an unknown element, meaning that the stares ranged from curious to outright suspicious. I don't like being in the limelight; never have. I was always the person in the corner with a book who just really didn't care if other people thought I was weird.

  
So you can imagine how relieved I felt when we finally got to the outskirts of town. Oh, right; the Hokage wouldn't know the extent of Juugo's condition. I turn to him just before we enter the gate to the training ground.  
"Ah, Hokage-sama. I must inform that this is only technically a spar. This is a chance for Juugo to let off some steam; he has been repressing his condition for a while now it is straining him. I am perfectly capable of countering him in his altered state. This information is so you will not be surprised."

  
He nods in acknowledgement. "I understand, and I must admit I, among many, are curious about the nature of his affliction. You picked up that I intended to observe you the whole time?"

No, I didn't; I can't read people like that. But it was logical reasoning. "I did not, Hokage-sama. I simply knew that you would be watching, regardless of whatever I did; I am still a threat."  
There is no response, so I open the gate and walk through. Juugo is waiting, but he is bent almost double from pain.

  
"It's okay Juugo!" I yell from a safe distance. I don't sense the Hokage anywhere, so he's safe and no doubt watching from somewhere. "Let it out!"

With a whimper of relief, Juugo bends backwards, almost in half and I can hear the cracking of vertebrae from here as his body morphs and a maniacal snarling laugh wrenches itself from his lips. The next second, a great primordial throwback is upon me, all gnarled and knotted and leathery and covered in lumps and spikes like a horrific amalgamation of wood and stone.

  
I doge and duck the entire time, but I draw bones from my shoulders when I need to, spikes from my elbows come in handy more than once and I aim blows and jabs to various places on his anatomy(those places which are still mostly humanoid, anyway). One time did I make the mistake of grappling. If not for some quick sprouting of spikes on the soles of my feet through my moccasins, for traction, I would have had a rather high-speed airborne acquainting with several boulders.

  
I held back under Orochimaru for obvious reasons and the trainees who were chibi Sound-ninja Four weren't much competition at all. And I'll say this for Orochimaru; _damn_ that man knows how to plan a training regime!

So even though I'm handicapping myself in this fight, I'm not holding back my skill level. Juugo's actually getting me to work up some sweat and this is the most fun I've had in years.

* * *

 

> **Age:** 9 and 1/2 Taijutsu: Fairly good, low Chunin-level, but still in development of an actual style.

> **Genjutsu casting:** Absolute Zero. Genjutsu requires a bit of Yin chakra to work; he has none accessible because of his Yang Kekkei Genkai.

> **Genjutsu resistance:** Cast-iron solid for low/middle genjutsu. Shaky on high-level ones.

> **Ninjutsu:** E, D and low C in Doton and Suiton. E and D in Katon. Overall, very low Chunin in skill, high Chunin in range of styles and knowledge of application.

> **Kenjutsu:** basic stances, blocks and parries. Mostly improvised for the rest. Any style still in development.

> **Fuuinjutsu(seals):** Not quite Master level. Difficulty drawing accurately when at speed.

> **Iryo-ninjutsu(medical)** : Two basic healing jutsu(for flesh wounds only, really) and one basic chakra scalpel.

> **Chakra reserves:** Mid/high Chunin.

> **Kekkei Genkai(Shikotsumyaku/Dead Bone Pulse):** Spikes from all body parts, Digital Shrapnel, Clematis Vine(pulling spine out), shielding layer of bone under skin only localised, healing accelerated by 0.25%, shielding from mental trauma and immunity to Yamanaka mind-probes and some Genjutsu.


	5. Probation No.2: Stolen Breath and Report

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anko fails to make a good impression. T&I makes a report.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As for the songs in chapter 2, this is the list if anybody wants to look up the full versions;
> 
> '"Hello mother, hello father.  
> Here I am at, Camp Grenada...'"' is Camp Grenada by Alan Sherman.
> 
> '"They're coming to take me away, haha...'"' is They're Coming to Take Me Away by Neurotic Fish.
> 
> '"...And it's so easy when you're eeevil,...'"' is When You're Evil by Voltaire.
> 
> '"Like a tunnel that you follow to a tunnel of its own...'"' is Windmills Of Your Mind by Noel Harrison.

### Stolen Breath

Shinobi are notorious gossipers. After all; information withheld could spell someone's demise, so any and all information is shared out to pretty much everyone. Needless to say, the arrival of Kimimaro Kaguya and Juugo of the Scales made it round the gossip circle faster than you could say 'nosey bastards'.

Izumo and Kotetsu were the first, sharing the news of the day with the rest of the Chunin lounge. The mention of the name Kaguya had rung a few bells and at least one person had hit the library and come up with the info that the Kaguya were a presumed recently extinct clan from the Land of Water.  
The TI staff had contributed, saying what they were allowed about the two refugees. The news of a new Kekkei Genkai in the Village spread fast, as well as the fact they were running from Orochimaru.  
The Jonin lounge got much the same amount of information, but the ANBU barracks were a different story. Security recordings from the TI cells were viewed and passed on, as well as the transcript of the council meeting and the medical files. As well as that, the news was that the ANBU Watch for the two newcomers was the Copy-nin himself and his kohai, Tenzo of the Mokuton. Murmurs of 'half-duties', 'red flags' and 'psyche report' floated around the groups of white masks.

Of course info was all well and good, but nothing beat confirming it for yourself. So the apartment block housing the two boys became the most-watched location in Konoha for a whole month. That the Kaguya was on amiable terms with the Hokage spread fast, but it was the spar in training ground 2 that set everyone buzzing(literally, in the case of the Aburame).

It had long been rumored that the Kaguya clan had a body-altering Kekkei Genkai, but this was solid proof. Although, a few of the more squeamish Chunin had felt slightly disturbed by the ease at which the boy _removed his own bones._ Those who were close enough to hear the squelching of wet flesh were rather unsettled. The boy was so _young_. Although, given Orochimaru's pursuit of prodigies and bloodlines, was it really all that surprising?

It was the Juugo boy who gripped everyone's attention though. The shapeshifting was completely unprecedented, as well as the apparent mental side effects and lack of control.  
Those who did watch the apartment afterwards were slightly disappointed. They seemed to be normal children, albeit mature, living a vaguely threadbare existence while adjusting to a new place. The constant use and doodling of seals made interest pique for a while; the shinobi who muttered he was grateful they had a seal practitioner on hand should the worst ever happen, was quietly shushed.  
Juugo spent most of his day bird watching, seemingly having a strange affinity for animals and even holding conversations with them. Kaguya spent his time writing in notebooks or calculating a budget while teaching Juugo basic math, reading and kanji.

Interest died down, but at least somebody thought it prudent to warn one Anko Mitarashi about Konoha's new residents when she got back from her long-tern infiltration mission, a few days after the first month ended. Unfortunately, they forgot that Anko had a very different sense of tact to most shinobi. And they didn't notice how her eyes sparked mischievously.

* * *

There's a sound of hissing and suddenly

oh godohgod he'sfoundme as snakessnakeshissingcoiling, squeezingarmstrappedtrapped can't move notagainnononono snakes look at me goldsliteyelikehis he'sherehe'scomeforme. Woman, stranger. Shouldknowcan'tthinkhe'shereformeohgod. Whereishecan'tseehimsnakeseverywherenonononononononono...'

 

At first, Anko smirked in amusement as the kid started then froze as her snakes coiled around him. Her smile shrank rapidly as the kid's face paled and his eyes took on a glazed deer-in-front-of-a-katon look, instead of him getting himself free and calling her out like she had intended.

  
She came out from her hiding place and stepped in front of him to get his attention. He didn't even notice she was there. In a horror-struck split second she realised that his breathing was rapid and his lips were flushed blue, before his eyes rolled back in his head and he slumped.

  
Immediately, two ANBU were at his side, slashing her snakes to make them dispel and lowering the kid to the floor before one snapped to the other "oxygen deprivation; oxygen bubble, now!"  
The other promptly held his cupped hand over the gasping mouth and summoned a sphere of green medical chakra. The half-conscious boy sucked in the suddenly oxygen-rich air gratefully as the first ANBU gradually pulled him into a sitting position.

Anko's stomach felt like it was floating somewhere in the region of her ankles. She hadn't mentioned to scare the kid; okay, she had, but she hadn't wanted to scare him out of his wits! She knew the Kaguya had spent time with her bastard of a sensei, so she had realised that the snakes would be associated with him, that was the point of the surprise; she didn't knew that they'd trigger a flashback that severe!

  
"Kimimaro!" It was the other kid, Juugo, as he burst through the door, skidding to a halt as he spotted his friend insensate and being cradled by an ANBU. His eyes locked on her as the only stranger in the room. She barely dodged the fist that came at her. Good thing too; it left a small crater in the wall.

  
"What did you do!? What did you do to him!?" His voice was gradually becoming more garbled and feral, black marks creeping across his face like the insidious tendrils of some deadly vine and staining his eye black and gold. More vines, real this time, burst from the floorboards and entangle him, pinning his arms to his sides and fastening his legs to the floor.

  
"Shit...Juugo...'"

  
The voice was quiet, and a little strained, but it broke through the tension like a hot kunai through butter. The Kaguya kid was sitting upright under his own power, but still flanked by the two ANBU. Juugo halted his struggles as he caught sight of him, but the markings still remained. The kid carefully got to his feet and cautiously walked over to his foliage-covered friend. He placed a hand on his shoulder and the markings retracted and Juugo relaxed.

  
The vines and branches retracted too, and it was then that Anko noticed them for what they really were. 'Wait, Mokuton! Holy balls, did the Shodai leave another descendant?' She saw the ANBU with the red-and-green striped mask lower his hands from a seal at the exact moment the floor returned to normal. So, he was...'

  
"Bloody knock next time."

  
Eh? Oh, it was Kaguya who had spoken. She couldn't really blame him for that remark, not after what just happened. Juugo was stilled as he felt Kimimaro bury his face in his shoulder blades so his face was hidden. "Just go, okay?" His voice wavered slightly, and Anko took that to mean she had far overstepped the line onto private, emotional matters. Time to make herself scarce; she jumped out of the window.  
Juugo turned slowly, not wanting to dislodge his friend, but Kimimaro stepped away while heaving a great, shuddering breath. "I'm fine," he stated as he preoccupied himself with smoothing out the wrinkles in his shirt. "Just got caught up in a few old memories, that's all."

"Memories don't tend to make people collapse," Juugo said, leaving a way out of the conversation for Kimimaro who very obviously didn't want to discuss these memories.

  
"I panicked," Kimimaro began. "So I started breathing faster, because your body wants more oxygen when you panic in case it has to run or fight. But when I panicked, I automatically grew a sheet of bone under the skin of my bone and chest. It restricted my breathing and I passed out from lack of oxygen. That's it."

  
"Do you need to rest?" Juugo asked tentatively. Surely a shock like that would mean he wouldn't be in any state to concentrate for the rest of the afternoon.

  
"No I...," he paused and thought for a moment, a distant look flashing in his eyes. "I'll just sit on the bed for a bit. I'll do some drawing; relax from the paperwork a bit."

  
Juugo watched the smaller boy walk to the bedroom and shut the door behind him. Kimimaro had done so much for him, but when something happened, he was helpless. If his friend had choked to death on the floor, killing that woman wouldn't have brought him back. He should have assisted the ANBU, not done something so pointless. Kimimaro had asked him to watch his back and this was all he could do.

  
"What memories was he talking about?" Asked one of the ANBU. He considered them for a moment. He could always sense them somehow so they could never get the drop on him, which was why he could relax with two strangers following him around. Kimimaro couldn't sense them, yet he never seemed too bothered by either of them. If Kimimaro trusted them like that, he would tell them what they wanted to know.

  
"No specifics," he said. "Though it's very likely they're from his time with Orochimaru. And there's one thing that gets me about what just happened," he realised suddenly. "Kimimaro automatically grew bone under his skin the minute he panicked. Why would he do that, unless it was a defence to protect his organs?"

  
The two ANBU glanced at each other, hands flashing into signs, before the white-haired one shunshined away. He could guess that the ANBU had put together what he had. After all, Kimimaro had shot down all of his questions about the Y-shaped scar that ran vertically down his chest and torso as well.

### Report

 

> Kimimaro Kaguya(referred to henceforth as K.K) possesses a Kekkei Genkai known as Shikotsumyaku that nullifies Yamanaka mind-probes. As such, this report is compiled entirely from observed behaviour.
> 
> The singing is most prominent. No one recognises any of the songs, leading to the belief that they were made up by K.K or an acquaintance, who K.K then learned them from. Every song resembles a children's rhyme or story in the structure and repetition and are simple to remember. We have concluded that these musical outbursts are K.K's way of working out his internal stress, as well as alleviating boredom - it has been discussed that during such periods of boredom, K.K's mind threatens to turn to distressing memories, hence the singing.
> 
> It is also very possible that the singing is passive-aggressive retaliation. This seems to be very likely.
> 
> From observations by ANBU Hound and ANBU Bear, K.K seems used to taking charge and acts in a mature manner. A different manner than the socially stilted one usually displayed by shinobi prodigies and children forced to grow up too soon. While K.K firmly sticks to a schedule and budget(see attached sample), he displays several outbursts and eccentric behaviours. Again, this seems to be way of blowing off stress. K.K seems to avoid swearwords, instead using various creative oaths. This aversion is bookmarked as a discussion point for next probation appointment.
> 
> When speaking to authority figures(e. Hokage-sama, Clan Heads, etc.), K.K is formal. If not for the tells of apprehension, it could be misconstrued as obsequiousness. This politeness is born out of fear, not loyalty. Although it is possible that part of it is now from gratitude. This mask has slipped when in conversation about a topic K.K is apparently enthusiastic about; it was soon replaced. Conversation also revealed that K.K finds it normal to be under constant observation, as if expecting to be evaluated. Time and social interaction will show if these affectated behaviours will ease, and what the base behavioural patterns will be.
> 
> An altercation with Anko Mitarashi(see incident report attached), revealed that certain triggers can cause panic attacks, presumed to by linked to the various scars on K.K's body(see medical file). K.K refuses to discuss the events that resulted in such scars.
> 
> Signed,  
>  Inoichi Yamanaka
> 
> Ibiki Morino
> 
> Hohetou Hyuuga


End file.
